And I have to present for it...
My supervisor just gave me some truly terrible news. She sent me an email that had come around about the colloquium, and someone dobbed me in as being a potentially interesting speaker for the divisional colloquium.
I was partially hired, you see, on the basis of my being unafraid to perform. Having directed a cabaret worked in my favour.
But this is different. This is me, getting up there, pouring out my months of hard work and anxiety and triumph, ME being on display. Me and my science. This is a hell of a lot more scary than getting up and pretending to be Marlene Dietrich (I haven't been able to stomach cabaret music since, to be honest. It was a nightmare on opening night).
I'm concerned about getting up there in front of a bunch of land ops people, most of whom have jack-all idea about human factors, and trying to explain what we've done. I think it's more the idea that worries me, not the reality - my mother tells me I'm a born teacher (is that a backhanded compliment coming from one?), but not even I can talk for thirty minutes. Twenty, maybe, but not thirty.
* * * * *
Tin's going to try to find someone else because I have to give a presentation at the end of the year regardless. *Phew*
At the risk of sounding sissy, I was honestly anxious about it. Because I haven't done any public speaking/presenting since the cabaret last year in May, it would be nice to have some practice time to get back into the right frame of mind. I have a presentation on Wednesday for a grad student who's coming in, so there's my opportunity to get my groove back 
I've been a nerd for far too long...